Drawing on the walls? Yay? or Nay?

It’s Our Basic Human Right

I walk into my son’s bedroom, I’m talking away, looking at my daughter, giving her instructions for the night when I notice she is staring ahead.

“What is it? Are you ok?” She just stares. I look in the direction of her stare and see that my 4-year-old has been drawing on his bedroom walls. On his bed frame and on the shelf. No, not in pencil. Not even in washable marker. Of course, it’s a Sharpie he found, as if his instincts guided him to choose the most permanent medium available to him. One that would make his work last and be remembered. My initial thought is what the??? Followed by curiosity. What did he draw? I take a look at his scenes, his characters, his ideas and expressions. What does it all mean? I smell a story.

I call my boy up to have him tell me about his drawings. He looks at me, he looks at his horrified sister, then back at me. I see you have been making stories. A zipper is pulled wide across his face revealing all of his tiny white teeth. He jumps into the room. Arms waving, Breathless. Eyes wild and racing. I am fascinated by his stories and the meaning he gives them. For example, the one on his bed. A large, knobbly creature with large protruding teeth, heavy armor and a shield and sword that almost out size their bearer. It is the protector and guardian of the night. This guardian’s job is to keep monsters and bad dreams at bay.

“This one is for my little brother, he has a big sword, because he is a knight and his dragon is over there as he points to the creature splayed on the wall.”

As a creative myself, I cannot react in anger, or outrage. I relay the story to my husband and share with him my conflicting feelings. Culture and history prescribe, a chemical reaction of fury and indignation, in response to this kind of behaviour. It is unacceptable! He is old enough to know better!

Yet, how can I deny my son his want, no his NEED to express what he sees and imagines, a place to create safe guards to help him make sense of the world and give him a small dose of control and security, even if it means he draws on our walls. They can be repainted.

I would gain no greater pleasure than painting and expressing the texture of my world all over our walls.

I finally did. I said forget resale value, I said forget living in their coffee cream and trending boxes. Forget cookie cutter recipes. This is our home.

Some of us live this way with out apology and for what ever reason others of us need the key, the permission to go for it, to have some one tell us its OK to create and express yourself. This type of self restriction and denial comes from well meaning people in our early lives. People who don’t quite see the bigger picture, that or have been so denied themselves they cannot even reason how it can make sense.

This sentiment reminds me of one of the saddest moments I can remember. I was at a friend’s house and they had a play area for the kids in the basement and I noticed some drawing in marker on her cement floor. I laughed and said it looks like you had some redecorating going on. She rolled her eyes exasperated and then narrowed them as she recounted the story of what had happened just a few days ago.

She went on to say: When that little friend of hers was over, they (the young girls) came down here while the adults were chatting upstairs and they decided they would draw all over our floors. I didn’t see it until the next day but I was furious. She (the daughter) was crying helping me clean it up as I kept screaming and asking her why she would do such a thing, what was she thinking? Now, I know MY little girl would never do such a thing without influence. We scrubbed and scrubbed that floor and I told her she wasn’t allowed to do these things unless she has paper and a drawing desk.

Now I am not the type of friend to pass judgment or comment on my opinions of how they choose to raise they’re children. We all do the best we can and what we feel is right.

Myself, I want to have that kid over to decorate my boring cement floors. I joke. Of course, it is important for children to have boundaries and know that there is a time and place to be creative, to explore and express themselves. I get that. 100%. I mean I would likely be devastated if my kids took red paint to my serene wall mural in the living room. Then again, I also realize that everything is fixable and try to look at: what is the need they are trying to fulfill. Maybe it needed a little red in it anyways?

I look at myself as that free-spirited child who wasn’t content staying on the page. I needed more space. I needed more room to grow and explore. To make my expressions stand out. Isn’t that why they have full building-sized murals to satisfy that need, to have the biggest canvas possible?

I personally didn’t see the huge deal, but its not my house. I look at it, it’s the basement. It’s a child-safe play zone, to me that means anything that doesn’t hurt anyone goes. It’s a cement floor, one that can be covered and painted over or carpeted, whatever.

I remember this same friend asking me what color she should paint her house foyer. I told her straight up I am not the right person to ask. She was looking for trends and safety. I’d rather stay white and plain than pick a safe color because then to me at least it still looks like a canvas waiting to be filled.

I crave that bold statement. I crave colorful and different. I crave the possibility. It’s easy to look like everyone else.

How do we deny our children’s instinctual drive to leave their mark when our ancestors have been drawing on cave floors and walls for thousands of years, it’s a basic human instinct to put our mark on the wall to set claim that “we were here!”

Over 40 000 years ago, in an attempt to survive and communicate early humans shared stories and wrote out our history, in a language before language was possible. A way of communicating a common experience, of reminding themselves of this experience. It was a way to share stories with those not directly affected and impart knowledge and warning. A collective memory, to be shared and passed on.

These were worlds first historians. What made them pick up that stone and mark the walls? What made them refine what they used to mark the walls from stones, to crushed berries, animal fat, fine dirt and charcoal to make the early versions of paints and stains.

Art gives us a space to experience and express our worlds in a way that animals cannot.

People who work with kids, or who have or know them, are well aware they are impulsive creatures. If they think it, (hmm Why does that lady have a beard??) it will come blurting out of their mouth at the worst possible time. If they feel it, (hmmm, what is that bubbling in my belly??) they just do it without a care for who is around or when (the worst is at the dinner table).

If they are struck by inspiration they move to action with little hesitation if authoritarian influences are out of sight.

Children aren’t affected by home value and what other people think. I admire so much what these little people have the capacity to do because they don’t have the years of cultural pounding of rules and of what “proper” behavior is or isn’t. If it’s not hurting anyone what is the hurt in indulging?

I aspire to take more lessons from the little people that live so free. I am taking more risks in my own art and expression. I want to live more like a cave-woman. Wild, free and without restraints as to what the current market value states my house should look like. When I am ready to sell, it will be to someone who shares the vision, or has an ambitious drive to recreate my house in their own image.

After all aren’t popular trends just someone’s expression of art? Someone’s form of expression has resonated with many others.

What matters is that art conveys meaning and purpose for it’s creator and for the viewer it allows a space to explore a different perspective in the world.